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It's an inert power." Shortland Street actor Will Hall (who plays Kip Denton) agrees.

"If there's a spark online - which doesn't mean anything - I like to meet them early on for coffee or just one drink.

It galls her, but she's come to the conclusion that playing hard-to-get is still the modern woman's most powerful weapon. If a woman asks a man out, he'll never consider her a potential mate, but rather as a potential f**k.

The way a woman gets the guy is to withhold and be intriguing and mysterious and look fabulous.

It makes everybody a bit angry and they can't help but take it out on each other." (Atkins is gay, so this isn't sour grapes.) And it's the same in internet dating forums echoing with castigations of heartless players and shameless sluts, snobby bitches and weirdo creeps.

If love is a battlefield, for many of us looking for love is a booze-sodden minefield of crosspurposes, misunderstandings, and halfconscious, muddled expectations.

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