Dating and breaking

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I have to give credit where credit is due because I learned from the best.My mother was never at a loss for dates before meeting my father and turned down an alleged eight marriage proposals before accepting his.The only perspective by which you can evaluate if the relationship made any sense or was a good investment of your time is with time.If you think of every experience as being tuition in the school of life and love, then you can understand that some tuition is higher than others, and some classes are more fun or stick with you longer, or teach you more than others.You’re not the parent or the therapist, and no matter how keen your insight, your remarks will be viewed as self-serving.

But would canceling really have been such a bad idea? You spend an inordinate amount of time getting dressed. Friends excitedly ask when you started commuting to the city for work and you sheepishly explain that dating is now your full-time job. You really just want to chow down on a cheeseburger and fries at the Shake Shack instead of a salad and grilled fish at yet another expensive restaurant. You become a badass to your dates and suddenly realize the less you care the more they do. You are happy you just got dumped because now you finally have an excuse to stay home.Just because a relationship doesn’t last forever doesn’t mean it’s not good.Unfortunately, many of us feel that if it doesn’t last as long as we wanted or expected it to, then somebody must be to blame, someone has to pay, and it wasn’t a good relationship at all.Or you could blame your partner: “You never loved me enough,” “You cared more about your work than you did me,” “You’ve never really gotten over your first love,” “You’ve put on weight, lost hair, gotten moody. The why may be lost in the mists of time or be a proper subject for therapy, but when you’re going your separate ways, getting stuck in the past feels incredibly painful.And the why is in the past, often clouded and sometimes unknowable.

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