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Men may have an imbalance of privilege and power in the world, but women frequently hold the cards at home—through the giving and withholding of both sex and affirmation.If a man is truly letting you down all the time, by all means get rid of him.

This doesn’t make women responsible in any way for a man’s hateful actions.It’s not that women don’t also need to feel relevant.But women on the whole tend to have larger friend groups and social circles, often spend more time fulfilling children’s needs, and typically receive tokens of affection such as flowers, jewelry, or other gifts more regularly than they give them.Do your man’s expectations and needs matter to you, or do you treat them—and by extension him—as irrelevant and make him jump through hoops of fire to avoid sexual rejection?The key here is not to stuff down your displeasure when a man disappoints you. But it’s crucial you make it clear that you’re disappointed in our actions or omissions and not in us as a person or partner.

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